Come adore on bended knee
2007-12-20
Problems. Everyone has them. My latest is that we are having major car trouble and it is going to cost upwards of 2 grand. So, I have been in a pit. No money extra for that this time of year. The money is wrapped under the tree. No credit card to stick it on. The bonus check that W. got will cover part of it, and we will have to steal from Peter to pay Paul, but damn i need my car back. We went to pick up a rental till ours is ready , and the promise of a cute jetta rolled around the corner and was actually a big ugly van. no offense van drivers. I am not a lover. I have two kids and have no need for such a monstrosity. I am more of a Jetta girl. Maybe it was God working on my pride? ha. ha. ha. so funny i forgot to laugh.
Everywhere I look, there are problems.
Someone is having their identity stolen at this moment.
Someone is pregnant after the promise from the urologist that the tubes have been severed.
Someone is lonely because he didnt ask his girlfriend of 7 yrs to marry him , and she couldnt wait, so she ditched him.
Someone has it all together but no one knows what a jerk her husband is to her , even though it looks perfect from the outside, but on the inside he nitpicks everything she does.
What do we do? I was so depressed on Tuesday , I couldn't make a move without tearing up. Then i start over-analyzing things. Then I start picking about what i have that is good and precious. Then I start wondering why no one cares. Then i start throwing myself the biggest pity party a girl could have.
But the next day, I woke up and made a choice. I made a choice for my two babies who were excited Tuesday because it was only 7 days till Christmas and we dismissed them without batting an eye because 'we were having a bad day'. I woke up , plastered a smile on my still tear stained cheeks , said a quick prayer for God to give me strength.... I turned on the Christmas music, blasted some Relient K "Angels we have heard on high", and gathered the babies. I sat them down with big steaming cups of hot chocolate with extra marshmallows at the kitchen table, spread wax paper everywhere and we began the pretzel factory... chocolate dipped salty twists with sprinkled art work like you have never seen. Their faces were lit up, they were licking the mess off their fingers, and it was all good right then. We took them to our neighbors and co-workers and spread the joy, because really... what good would it do to mope? i was ruining their Christmas and i had to get a grip.
Today is another day. I will have to try again to make it not all about me and more about them. They deserve it, those sweet babies who make my life worth living...
Labels: all about me, family
