Whatever happened to the fairness and equality
lack of understanding leading us away from unity
thats the reason why sometimes i'm feeling under
thats the reason why sometimes i'm feeling down
(people living like they aint go no mama. )
Does anyone else ever feel like this? I feel like I am going to jump out of my skin! I am so over "here". I want to go. Why can't we just go?? Went to church today, and I am done with it. No one particularly pissed me off, but oh yeah one jerk did, but he always pisses me off, so no biggie today.... Why do I leave church pissed? just seeing certain fake people, I am just over it. My time is limited. I don't know how long I can play this game, and yes it is a game. Play nice. Act nice. Make nice. Smile smile hey how are you?? Are you going to such and such event? Sure! Cant freaking wait .Ugh. Puke. Did you read my last few months worth of posts? Am I
mental? Wait! Don't answer that. Maybe my thyroid is all f'ed up, causing severe anxiety, unsettledness, craving anonymimity
I want a new beginning.
(the good angel on my left shoulder is SCREAMING IDIOT! ---I just got my license here, so I feel I cannot go now. Plus moving expenses are so damn much. Not practical to go. Have to stay.) How much longer can I do this BS?
the bad wild ass side of me says screwww it all. go , have fun, start new.
does anyone else have this disease of having to move and start new? i feel like we have done our job here, and it is time to go. am i a broken record? YES! whiny girl. i am not leading a normal life here. it is too easy. perfect. freaking white picket fence. i want to live on the edge a little. too much stability. not enough fun. fun is not bunco with coffee. puke again. nothing is pleasing me right now. we usually do what we want . move? sure! no problem. well, now we have two kids in school and complications arise. it is too hard. can someone just come take control maybe? no one in my life is doing it right now. i dont want to wait till its too late. i will be one bitter bitch by then.
btw, i love fergie. do you love fergie?
random. do you all feel like you just be bop through life, and inside you are just freaking out on everyone??? do i need meds? lol.
I am not portaying my thoughts correctly. i am flighty now. not knowing how to describe how i feel. can anyone read my mind please? i want a life that honors God (cause he's numero uno) yet i am under these man-made "rules" and it sucks. i am too far gone here, need to go start anew.
God.
want to see the weirdest playlist ever?? here are my songs playing over and over on limewire right now for my listening enjoyment. dont pick-you know you love me
Kayne West-Golddigger
Justin Timberlake-Milkshake-Rock your body remix
Justin Timberlake-sexyback
Justin Timberlake- featuring Black Eyed Peas-Where is the love?
Creed-One
Escape-the Pina Colada Song
Nelly Furtado-I'm like a bird
Led Zepplin- Dyer Maker (one of my top songs ever)
oh god. what if people quit reading because of this lame list?? oh well, screw em.
posted by gina at 5:50 AM Permalink
12 Comments:
Don't worry...that's not why I would stop reading...ha ha ha!
I feel you on the fake people at church. The main reason I left the one I was at in Cola.
7:01 AM
I'm like a bird I only fly away
7:22 AM
I'm like a bird has been on my top ten best songs of all time since the day I heard it. I LOVE IT!
I re read, and I could go on for days, but I guess that's why we need St. Aug, I totally understand you. (so I must be crazy too, we should probably get some meds! or ritas....ha ha!) It's that feeling of always wanting something more, not that you are not grateful for what you have but there is more out there, and you CAN expierence it....So what are you (I, me, us) waiting for? Is it that kind of feeling?
Cause I have it.
You're beautiful, that's for sure
You'll never ever fade
You're lovely but it's not for sure
That I won't ever change
And though my love is rare
Though my love is true
7:31 AM
gina the wild side is not the bad side. the wild side is the good side.
a million hugs :)
12:47 PM
Is Wes all for moving too? If he's with you, that eliminated 95% of your potential problems. I hear you on the fake thing at church. I know exactly what you mean. Do you want to move to be in a different place or is it the anonymity? You can be nearly anonymous in your city and make a whole new set of friends.
2:59 PM
yes wes wants to go...we both do.
5:40 PM
Ahhhhhhhhhh...the hypocracy of
people who hide behind the
church waivng their judgements
who lack all true spirt of love
and compassion -
re-inventing ourselves is one of
the great joys of life.
Even if it is only ONE person
surround yourself with TRUE
hearts who bring out the best
in your beautiful spirit Gina -
leave the rif-raf behind.
(actually it's hard to do with
children isn't it?)
i adore Fergie.
and you!:)
5:42 PM
okay since i go to your church,too , i want to know who pisses you off??? (just kidding)
i feel like you from time to time... but where ever you go, there are going to be "those types." i think the fakes were the biggest pain to Jesus,too.
oh, i sure am glad that i didn't ask you today if you were going to some of the women's stuff coming up. lol = )
12:31 AM
Do you remember where you were when you learned what Dyer Maker meant?
1:22 AM
funny thing is natalie, i do plan on going to such and such.... ugg. feel obligated some how.
kurt, yes.
1:32 AM
why do you feel obligated?????
you have to be your own person...
"Be who you are, say what you feel because
those who mind don't matter and those who
matter don't mind."
Dr. Seuss
2:15 AM
i feel obligated because it is M and V's first time taking over time-out moms and i feel like i need to be there to "support" them, ya know? WCW thing i prob will not go to.
i am always worried about hurting feelings. i love ya natalie because you are not "churchy" like some people we both know at cla.
2:38 AM
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