Another Outlet for My Reality Obsessed Self

I feel like I have just done a line and don't know where to start. Let me just start out with a big thanks to George Debouef over ice. I am a classy girl , if nothing else. HAHA>

on my playlist..... Speaking of which,. I read all of these exotic blogs and their playlists are all these songs I swear to God I have never heard of. I guess I consider myself music savvy.... But oh no , not so much.
This Love- Maroon 5
On and On- Hoonua
Santa Monica-Everclear
Our House-Talking Heads
Steal my sunshine-Len
Like a Prayer remix dance edition- Madonna (don't hate me, I know I am pathetic)
How predictable am I? Although Deborah Cox and Miami didn't make it, shocker of the year.

God,. I am already all over the place. Let me try to reel it in for ya.

I am paranoid. I am paranoid of who reads me. I need one of those statcounter things but am too tart to figure out how to install (damn, this version of "like a prayer" is like Madonna is on speed or something. so fast!)
I have heard a few people out of the blue comment on my blog and i almost vomited just trying to remember what exactly I have blogged about. Anyone who knows me would probably say that I am transparent as heck, but there is that 2% that I wish to remain private. Now, I am having a complex about that privacy. I have been weird lately, watching too many International Film Festival Movies. Not making sense. Let me try again

Do you all ever want to just be competely honest but are afraid of who is reading so it holds you back? I am sad that my blog may be going to people I may not necessarily want it to go to, and am considering starting another, with my closest friends and anonymous readers being privy to. There are times that I hold back some things that I just want off my chest but am too chicken to post ( I know you are too). I was reading a link of one of my friends' blog and it was a postsecret thing, and i thought , "how liberating" to be able to spill it without being judged - I am craving a safe haven in blogworld. an anonymous safe haven. What is it about secrets and or other things you may not want everyone to know? There is a need there. A need to get it off your chest. A need to know that you are not a freak. A need to know you will not be judged.
I have been a Christian for 7 yrs now. I love God but I still struggle with the "fun " part of life. God is not telling me "no" but it is my church friends and society. I think fondly of my past years... Not necessarily that I want to go full-force back to that lifestyle ( it would not be heathy/wise/legal/ with kids and they are my first concern) but I crave that bit of excitement. wes and I are the same in the sense that we get BORED.

My new career- everyone is so progressive. This is a change for me. I am used to layed back book reading at barnes and noble, coffee with friends. I need to get that cut throat mentality. I need to smell victory and go for it. I really do want it. I am excited about the thought of extra money. I can be driven by this in my job.

Damn, i am all over the place. I will let you know if i decide to do another blog that is more open. maybe we can just all go there and post anon.

I also want my blogirlfriends (and bloguyfriends~justa and kurt, one day !~)to know that it tears me up to no end that we havent met irl. i long for that. in my dreams, all of my blogfriends are friends with each other and we meet in canada or somewhere else cool and all immediately bond because we have the most important element in common. the other world, the "unblogworld" just doesnt understand. i dont mean to cheese you out, i just appreciate you all.

P.s. in my mind, this all made perfect sense
P.s.s i am off to change OUT of wesleys red boxers and a pink tank top. after all of this 'george' , i think i need something slinkier.