sigh. bad attitude girl here.
2006-05-17
Poor internets. Not one decent post from me in a while. I will try to do better.
there is this woman in our sunday school class. she has bone cancer, and most recently they found a spot on her brain so it is not looking good. on sunday night, she fell and her 10 yr old daughter found her unconscious in the morning. she called 911 and they took her in to brain surgery, where they relieved the pressure on her brain, and now she is in a regular room still recovering. she is set to come home in a day or two, but here's the thing. her house is a PIT. i have not seen it, but my good friend went to help clean it and apparantly there is ankle deep trash on the kitchen floor. nasty and you can't even make a path through the trash, etc... now i realize it has got to be hard to keep your house clean when you dont even know if you ARE GOING TO LIVE OR NOT, but this has been years in progress. all of the sunday school women have been over there since monday gutting her house out, because a home health nurse is coming home with anita, and it has got to be clean for this to happen. otherwise DSS and all will be called in. i am having an attitude about going over there (tonight) to help clean. it just seems like such a production.... i have to get a sitter, drive 30 minutes, get home in time to take the sitter home so i dont have to drag my kids out of bed, UGGG>... why am i so ugly? i take meals, i watch people's kids when they have appointments. i cannot say no. i am made to feel guilty. this is just my personality. i have been struggling with it all day to the point that it has RUINED my day worrying about the details, etc...
I know the good that will come out of this will far outway the hassle it will be for me to get myself together. i should just get over myself and think that the woman has CANCER for crying out loud. i can go spend a couple of hours and $20 to help out. i am also feeling like my class is turning this woman into a charity case, like taking her on as a project, and i hope anita doesnt mind. you know , sometimes you get so wrapped up in doing good, you trample people's egos . maybe anita needs the help though. i know she would be mortified to know that we have been in her house, washing her laundry, digging through her stuff.
I will update later after i go over there.
posted by gina at 9:21 PM Permalink
11 Comments:
Is she a single mom? Why didn't her family help her out? I feel bad for her. It sounds like she needs help but I hope no one treats her like she is a "project" I have a personal pet peeve about that. I can understand how you feel. It is hard when you have kids to do anything-and you already do alot! I hope it goes more smoothly than you can imagine.
11:10 PM
"sometimes you get so wrapped up in doing good, you trample people's egos" .
That is so true! It is very hurtful when that happens. If all the women from ANY Sunday school came over to help clean my house even right now since I have been pregnant I would be humiliated!!!
11:14 PM
We are all given jobs in this world. Right now yours is your kids. It's one thing to help out others in time of need (and I so believen in that) but it is quite another to provide a stable home enviornment for your family (which I think you do more than most people I know)
What I am trying to say is that it is okay to say no. You do a lot. Don't feel guilty if you ever want to decline....(better said than done).Because your family comes first. I know the feelings of obligation. I do it all the time. It's so hard!!!
But then again, nobody ever said it was supposed to be easy right? You are such a good girl!!!
8:07 AM
How did it go?
10:29 PM
Tough spot.
12:59 AM
If I had read this early enough, you know very well I would have gladly come and watched your kids for you. If it was Wed. night, then Trey was off, and I wouldn't even have had to bring the kids. Girl!
7:47 PM
If I had read this early enough, you know very well I would have gladly come and watched your kids for you. If it was Wed. night, then Trey was off, and I wouldn't even have had to bring the kids. Girl!
7:48 PM
i know what you mean and you are not bad. and you'll feel better after helping out. there is something i think you can do, to make her feel like she is a friend and not a charity case. After you have cleaned and done all the ugly part, get her something fun. like a cd she would like to listen to, or magazines, or a lipgloss. I know it's not important to someone with cancer, but it still says "you are a personal friend i care about"
xx
let us know how it went Gina!
9:11 PM
here's the thing. we have adopted this lady (she really has a screw loose- i know that is mean, but there are mental issues involved) last year. we have been taking meals to her once a week on the days she has chemo. we gave them christmas (the whole class probably 12 families) and take them surprises, pizza , ice cream gift cards, etc.. trying to be sweet, because hey she needs it as sick as she is...
well, i went to the house the other night, after teams of women had been there cleaning for two days straight and i could not believe what i saw. there had been ankle deep trash in the whole house, paper plates covering the kitchen floor, food everywehre and OHH the laundry. one woman took home 15 loads to wash them brought them back and probably had another 15 to do. there was rat poison in the cabinets (THE CABINETS! EWWW next to the pots and pans) oh i am going to stop there, it was filth.
On one hand, i feel bad that we are treating her like a charity case, but on the other hand, they are going to take her daughter away if they see the disgust. The guys are going over there tomorrow to deal with the garage ( the whole thing is full of trash bags full of trash and dog waste-the smell!!) i know this dirt did not cause her cancer, but i am sure it hasnt helped her get better either. i feel bad for her still. she WILL be mortified that we were there, IF she figures out who cleaned it , because we are not telling her. we are giving her a "birthday party" on sunday complete with cake. we are hesistant to give her presents because:
A. cleaning her house was a gift in itself
b. we got the carpets cleaned and bought 8 HUGE HUGE storage tubs to put 1/100 th of her clutter in.
c. everything we have given her in the past was broken on the floor under a foot of trash.
I guess all i can do is pray for her. i think there is some sort of evil demonic presence in the house.
i do appreciate all of your comments on the situation. you all were right on the target. thanks
12:17 AM
I hear what you're saying and can sympathize. As for presents, I'd say you've given her enough. Among my friends, we rarely buy each other birthday presents. A nice, heartfelt card is plenty in my opinion.
4:05 AM
you did the right thing Gina. you are great, don't doubt this.
2:22 AM
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