got me thinking.......
2005-05-24
I just read another moms post and it got me thinking...There are many things that women get bogged down with pertaining to motherhood. I think it is our need to feel like we are doing the best we can at the hardest job on earth. There is a constant battle going on between all of us. Its selfish , self-righteous and every one of us is guilty!! Here are the top examples where we tend to judge other mothers and not look at their side of it because what they do is weird, not what we would do, not how our mothers would do it....
Natural Child-birth vs. Epidural/ IV meds
Home Birth vs. Hospital
Breastfeeding vs. Bottlefeeding
Co-sleeping vs. Put that baby in a crib
Attachment parenting vs. Not
To medicate with antibiotics vs. Not
Immunize vs. Not
Healthy Eating i.e. organic vs. Not
Homeschooling vs. Not
Spanking vs. Not
Staying at Home vs. Not
I am very passionate about what I do with my children and of course i think it is best for our family. Sometimes i judge, although i try hard not to. other people make their choices and we need to make sure ( ME INCLUDED) not to make the others who choose differently feel bad about their choices, or that they are lesser of a mother.
Anyone see that Dr. Phil about the battle of the working vs. the SAHM's????
Anyway, that was just on my mind. I think you all should just keep on keeping on. XOX
posted by gina at 6:47 AM Permalink
9 Comments:
You are right!
1:46 PM
I am assuming that you are talking about what I wrote on Julia's page, or the whole post in general. If so, please go read that. I don't think I worded it right, and probably still didn't, but...maybe you'll get my drift, if I have one!
4:22 PM
i read it. thanks for the comments .
4:37 PM
Here's the way I see it.
It's one thing to judge others for things that are personal liberties that each have their pros and cons. Examples: spanking vs. not spanking, homebirth vs. hospital, homeschool vs. private, vs. public school. Everyone does it to some extent, and some are worse than others. This sort of judging is divisive and wrong. There is no clear cut answer on what is the best in these types of differences, so we each have to decide what is best for ourselves, our families, our individual circumstances. We're all different.
On the other hand, there is nothing wrong with being discerning. You mention breastfeeding. For most women who don't have medical issues, breastfeeding is the best and bottlefeeding is not quite as good. In my opinion, it is judgemental to say I as a breastfeeder am a better person than this other person who bottlefeeds. It's discerning to say, breastfeeding is the best choice, so I need to decide what I want to do with this information. We aren't always going to make the best choices in every single aspect of our lives. That's just human. But if someone wants to stand up and say breastfeeding is best, that does not make them judgemental.
7:21 PM
BUT if they say breastfeeding is best to a bottlefeeder, then they hurt feelings or make the person feel like a lesser mother and that my dear is wrong. maybe they are embarrassed to BF or just feel very uncomfortable. if it is not best for the mother, or if she resents her choice , then it is not worth it... I bet if you ask any one who bottlefeeds, someone has said something to them to make them feel bad.
all this coming from a girl who BF both of her babies till their first birthday.
All i am saying, is that we need to watch it with the holier than thou's. i am not saying any one in particular does this that reads my blog. i am just making discussion
7:38 PM
You're right. If I were to walk up to a lady feeding her baby formula and say, "You know, breastmilk is better for your baby," that would be rude.
7:53 PM
i just re-read your comment and i think you are dead on right. you are a good "point across getter" i cant think of the right word. lol
8:25 PM
Hey Gina.....remember the long lost loopie?? What was her name??
2:19 AM
oops. that wasnt marci, was it ?or the obscure girl in the background of her kitchen? angie, since sara wont tell the story of the loopies, will you??
3:14 AM
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